She's Landed On the ... 21st Century!

With a Kindle AND an audiobook.

(A Repost from the Willable Substack.)

It’s getting harder to remember my life as a trial lawyer. And it’s almost impossible to recall a life where my only social media was the Facebook account I’d started in 2005 as a junior in college. I’m old enough to recall needing a University email for login to “poke,” someone.

I doubt I thought of it much before, but after I was out of work and life, I became more interested in my hubby’s myriad socials. He’d long had a Twitter account and I didn’t even feign understanding. One time, I tried to log onto Pinterest to pretend I was the kind of mother who could do such a thing to throw a fabulous children’s birthday party. It seemed noisy and I couldn’t fathom comprehension, so I logged off (for about 9 years give or take. No cap!). All the while, Sean managed his personal FB account and that of his workplace, watched videos, and watched/listened to podcasts as far back as his iPod allowed. Granted, he was always tech and media savvy and became a Comms Director, but as he seamlessly maneuvered many different sites, I only watched in bewilderment.

I vividly remember, asking at least a few times, “Why do you need all those social media accounts? I don’t get it.” He’s continuously smarter than me and replied consistently: “I use different apps for different things.”

Ummm … OK??!

I can admit when I’m wrong. I can admit when I’m slow. And dare I repeat myself.

For most of my adult life, I was extremely boring with a lame digital footprint.

Prior-to-2018-Jackie listened to NPR while getting ready in the morning, caught a bit of the local NBC news on her way out the door, listened to Pandora at her desk, paid for songs on iTunes, and endlessly fought about politics on Facebook throughout the day (cringe). It was pretty sad.

Only months before I got sick, I shared a bunch of hilarious “drunk uncle” videos from SNL on my trusty old Facebook and both my husband and work husband were like, “What are you doing? These are years old!” Touché.

And hand on my heart, I swear, I honest to God didn’t listen to a podcast until late-2020 or early-2021.

(This is astounding considering that Sean MADE me record a podcast in our basement five times leading up to World Encephalitis Day on February 22, 2020. I didn’t think anyone would know, listen, or care, because I NEVER listened to podcasts. Brain Fever’s quick global following turned that notion on its head. When I finally discovered podcasts by listening to Brene Brown on Kara Swisher’s Sway, I instantly became hooked on the medium and never looked back!)

But my existence drastically changed when my life upended. With more time to explore and lots to peruse, I began to burrow my way through the vast interweb and found my own home.

I’m now fully onboard. Nearly chronically online. And I digest copious amounts of myriad media daily.

Nowadays-Jackie manages: a website, a book website, a Substack account (this one!), the JM Stebbins blog, the JM Stebbins Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, Threads, and TikTok pages, a personal Facebook, Poshmark, LTK, Pinterest, web and socials analytics, Brain Fever, Libby, reels, Apple Music, Apple Podcasts, Buzzsprout, Wix, Spotify, Thrive Market, and more. And guess what? I evolved to use different apps for different things.

But I’ve long been a stubborn woman and creature of habit. Although I finally mostly parked my CDs for the unlimited happiness and freedom $10.99/month on Apple Music can buy, I firmly held on to one critical analog area of my life:

My books.

I long swore I would NEVER use a Kindle or read an eBook, and for the love of God, I would never, ever, be reduced to an audiobook like some kind of (peasant?). I wouldn’t be caught dead not holding a book. I had no desire for a small screen that electronically flipped a page. I definitely didn’t get the draw. And an audio version ... I wouldn’t even have anything to hold. Plus, when I read, I like to, ya know, R E A D the words. I appreciate the action of reading with my eyes and imagination. I’ve also long understood that I’m not an auditory learner, although that’s gotten a bit better since I took to podcasts.

Though I’ve long been an avid reader since 2nd grade Hardy Boys, when I had a lot of time and not much to do during autoimmune encephalitis-recovery, I started buying more books. Still a bore, I mostly purchased political biographies and some fun novels. Yet over the past few years, that cool-Zoomworthy-2020s-bookshelf behind me filled to the brim and my taste in nonfiction, memoir, and literary fiction soared. I bought new books and used books. I was even gifted two new bookshelves for my growing collection (thanks Mike!), and I continued to stay steadfast in my antipathy towards digital books.

Until …

About a month ago, I applied to review books for the Nonfiction Authors Association. And I was accepted! As the process unfolded, I thought maybe I should use some Amazon gift cards (coincidentally gifted to me for Humanities book reviews) to purchase a Kindle. The books I would review for NFAA were (like it or not) coming to me digitally, and not in the easy to hold and smell the paper form I was used to. I decided to spend my gifted cash on a Kindle, but knew I’d hate it.

Thirty days later, I’ve already read (and reviewed) two nonfiction books on my Kindle, and a contemporary horror-ish novel. And. I. Loved. It!

I can admit when I’m wrong. I can say I’m sorry. And dare I repeat myself.

A Kindle is amazing and the draw is legit! You can load multiple books into one compact form that’s remarkably easy to throw in your purse when you wait at dance, Taekwondo, piano, and at the clinic. With ease, you can toggle between the two to four books you’re reading, without breaking your giant Athleta bag your kids complain about. With one click and watching sales, you can pay $1.99 and automatically have a brand new book! (Or the ten books currently in my queue - once I catch on, I have cat-like reflexes!)

Hold on though …

Getting to a Kindle was one thing, but I was definitely going to hold fast on avoiding the scandalous behavior of listening to a book like some kind of (Queen?). I mean really. Even on an eBook, my eyes are looking at letters and creating voices in my head (of a different kind than my usual …).

And then there’s the oft hotly debated book issue online: If you’re doing an audiobook, are you really reading? If you’re listening to a book, are you retaining anything? Can you actually read ten books per month …? I’ve taken little part in the dialogue, because my heart skips enough beats with the state doom uncertainty of politics in 2025, I don’t want to add any pissed off internet trolls to my pile.

I have to admit, I was always a bit bothered by people’s listening-reading. Until I finally realized I was splitting hairs. Especially because my 93-year-old visually impaired grandmother (my angel) spends a lot of time listening to books, and thank God she has that to do for leisure. I also got slapped a bit by a booktoker who was making fun of people who held opinions (similar to mine) that listening wasn’t the equivalent of reading, because surely a person doesn’t comprehend as much via hearing it read to them … He yelled - “Listen, dipshits … I don’t always retain everything I read out of a book, either (and this dude is well-read).” Even though I know my learning is greater through visual, I had to concede that many times when I’m reading for leisure, I don’t retain every ounce of the material (unless I’m on one of my weird academic exercises with nonfiction and a highlighter.).

I remained deeply skeptical. Until last week, Sunday.

I’m now a member of Libby. Through this recent awakening about electronic books and owning a Kindle, I was turned on to Libby (through a discussion with my Granny). After plowing through a rented eBook, I searched the site for another. I pulled out my trusted TBR list (in the uniquely titled “Jackie’s Books” on my Amazon account) and searched for a newer read that would hold neither sentiment nor the need for a highlighter. Lo and behold, there it was. And available in … audio form.

First, I began sweating. Second, I reassured myself that I will ALWAYS live in the 90s. Then, I electronically rented the audiobook (the world is a strange place) and Sean promptly fell out of his chair next to me. I did it!

I put in my Air Pods, clicked play, and began cleaning the house. I turned it to 1.25/speed and worked for two hours. I was already 1/3 of the way through the book. It felt life changing. I sprinkled it into a few of my morning makeup routines and driving for errands and voila, the book was complete by Tuesday night. I surprisingly retained a lot of the content and feel comfortable telling someone that I “read” Algospeak. (I’ve grown so much, I probably won’t even feel the need to add the disclaimer of “Actually, Algospeak was my first audiobook! I listened to it, I didn’t read it!”)

There’s so much I don’t know, but here’s what I know about the various ways to read:

1. It really is the twenty-first century. There’s no need to purposefully stay behind the times on stubborn principle. (Unless you’re super comfortable there and who am I to judge?!)

2. There are different ways to treat reading materials. If I want to save an article, I unapologetically print it, highlight it, and file it away. If I want to buy a physical book, read it, and store it in a shelf, I do. Sometimes I trade in old books at the used bookstore. If I want to read something that’s of no sentimental value, I get it from the library, return it, and don’t feel harmed. If I want to hoard Kindle books, I (definitely!) will.

3. There are MANY different ways to read. You can read audio books while you clean the house and drive. You can sit for endless hours in your chair and hold physical books. You can purchase a Kindle to hold many books and toggle between them while you wait for (kids, the doctor, an airplane, etc.).

4. There’s no need to make up your mind about the various ways to read until you try them all (if you’re able).

5. Reading is reading! It makes me so happy to dissociate (see above 2025 politics) and LEARN! I highly recommend it in any form.

   
   

Just like that wise man and his various social media apps, I’ve decided to use different reading styles for alternative purposes. If I’m attached to a book (usually my memoir), I’ll buy it, savor it, and possibly highlight it. I’ll frequent the local used bookstore and Barnes & Noble if a need arises, because I’m obsessed with books and believe they’re the soul of a home. If I want to burn through a popular novel that I doubt I’ll need to retain, I’ll happily Kindle it (see what I did there?!). And if I want to learn the etymology of “preppy slay queen Skibidi Mewing rizzler Ohio,” I can power through it on audio (bonus points when it gets me to houseclean).

The digital world takes a lot of shit, but through the past 7.5 years of my exploration, I’ve learned it can also be a fabulous and wonderful place.

I can try new things. I can travel differed routes. And dare I repeat myself.

Allowing yourself to change, to challenge your (quasi) deeply held beliefs on important and trivial issues, to adapt to the times and grow in your knowledge is Willable. Pass it on.

Luv, jackie

__________

/ / The JM Stebbins blog is an autoimmune encephalitis blog from former lawyer and autoimmune encephalitis survivor, Jackie M. Stebbins.

Jackie M. Stebbins is also the author of Unwillable: A Journey to Reclaim my Brain, a book about autoimmune encephalitis, resilience, hope, and survival. //

-- If you like Jackie, Elton John, or that Jackie loves Elton John, but mostly if you appreciate Jackie's writing, you can BUY HER A COFFEE here. --

  Make sure you're following Jackie on Substack @jmstebbins